Teenager Hannah Whelan from Dublin writes about losing her sister Julie to suicide.

I was 13 when my it felt my life was ending. I didn’t even understand the word suicide let alone could I comprehend how my sister took her own life.

I watched as my whole world fell apart. I watched as my family members grieved for months on end and I thought we would never be ok again. I sailed through the days like a zombie, numb to everything around me. Every time I heard a bell in school I felt panic ripple through me as the thoughts of the phone call that day made my stomach sick. I let myself believe that I would be sad forever and that this was my life now and that things would always be this way.

 Five years later I’ve started college, something I thought I’d never be able to cope with; I get up each morning and I remember that things are better now, not normal but just different to how they used to be.

 I remind myself every day that I’m lucky to have the great memories with my amazing sister and I remind myself that Julie lived her life to the fullest. When she walked into a room you could always feel her presence as she talked wildly about the things she loved.

 I know I’ve been through a. Lot of hurt and pain from a young age which made me feel like blocking out the world and hating things but  I now know for sure that Julie wants me to be the bravest, brightest, happiest version of myself possible, so I’ve decided to live with her in my heart and laugh and love twice as hard for the both of us.

By Hannah Whelan in memory of her sister Julie❤️