Shannon Katilius (granddaughter of a FOSL support group member) from Limerick writes about the love and loss of her mother Natalie Katilius.
๐Ÿ‘:๐Ÿ“๐ŸŽ๐š๐ฆ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ง๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐‰๐š๐ง๐ฎ๐š๐ซ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ž๐ฒ๐ž๐ฌ ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ž๐Ÿค

One whole year full of many mistakes, many tears and many lessons learned. I can safely say the most painful but without a doubt most eye opening year I have and probably will ever experience. Some days I can say youโ€™re in a better place and free of pain, other days all I want to do is scream, cry and beg for you to come back no matter how selfish that may be.
As much as I hate to admit it sometimes I find life near impossible to handle. Sometimes I need a lil extra help and support. There have been times where I have made very fatal mistakes when I was in a very dark place. I used to have a lot of shame in that. This year made me realise I shouldnโ€™t. Personally, sympathy makes me feel uncomfortable. I just genuinely donโ€™t want it or need it. Being open about struggle doesnโ€™t mean you are looking for sympathy. Iโ€™m open about it now because itโ€™s something Iโ€™ve learned to manage and accept as something that has shaped me into the person I want to be and am today. Iโ€™m not writing this because I have something to prove, I donโ€™t have to prove anything to anyone on social media or in real life, Iโ€™m writing it because I donโ€™t have shame in my struggle anymore. I am nowhere near perfect and I am still learning but I am fucking proud I made it through this bastard of a year because there were many times it didnโ€™t look like I would but I know my angel was right there giving me the strength to get through it.
So fuck you 2020 you were one cunt of a year, but thank you for some lessons Iโ€™ll never forget.
Hereโ€™s to 2021โœจ


  • Mary Katilius says:

    Love you Shan very proud of you, xxxx

  • Kayla says:

    Lovey Shan ! Very proud of you โค๏ธ Xxxxx

  • Deborah whelan says:

    Dear Shannon ,thank you for sharing your heartfelt story.I feel your pain ,struggle and strength.You are an amazingly brave young lady who has been through the unimaginable suffering of losing a loved one to suicide.Each time you tell your story you will become stronger.Sending love and hugs๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

  • Deborah says:

    Thanks to FOSL and the new blog ,everyone can share their stories and benefit from the support .Reach for the stars

  • Anna says:

    A heartbreaking story, so well expressed for a young woman. Inspiring and Inspiriting. Thank you Shannon and Fosl for this.

    • Fionn Kane says:

      Well done, Shannon. It must have taken a lot of courage to share your story with everyone. Your mother would be so proud โค๏ธ

  • Jenny says:

    I totally agree Anna and I loved the way she expressed her feelings.๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

  • Claire Scanlan says:

    A true heartfelt story of pain,loss,struggle but thankfully ending in hope.
    Shannon Sending you love and every good wish for your future.
    Claire ๐Ÿ˜˜

    • Jane Spong says:

      Dear Shannon, what an inspiring young lady you are to write so truthfully, such heartfelt words. Your mum would be so proud of you. Sending you lots of love, stay strong xx

  • Shannon Katilius says:

    Thank you for all the kind commentsโค๏ธSending love to you all xx

  • Vera says:

    Thank you Shannon for sharing your story. Well expressed and well written. It will help others to have the courage to tell their story. Congrats.

  • Jenny Scanlon says:

    A great idea to have a story of the month and congratulations to Shannon for a great kick off.

  • Mary Jane says:

    That was a great start to 2021. Look forward to the next story.

  • Anthony says:

    You’ve shown so much strength and wisdom Shannon, we’re all very proud of you!

  • Annette says:

    Thank you for sharing your story Shannon. Your honesty and courage shine through in your writing. Iโ€™m sure your Angel will continue giving you strength and wish you, Mary and all Natalies family and friends all the very best.

  • Louise says:

    Everybody is getting help from this story even those who don’t comment. This blog is so badly needed.

  • Nicola says:

    Sending big hugs to you Shannon and Mary, and my sincere sympathy on the loss of your mam. Such an important message in your post too, it’s okay, not to be okay especially after such a loss. Grief makes us all do things we might not normally do but in words of Ben Howard, “Keep your head up and your heart strong”. Hope 2021 is a better a year for you ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

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