Shannon Katilius (granddaughter of a FOSL support group member) from Limerick writes about the love and loss of her mother Natalie Katilius.
๐:๐๐๐๐ฆ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ซ๐ฒ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐ค
One whole year full of many mistakes, many tears and many lessons learned. I can safely say the most painful but without a doubt most eye opening year I have and probably will ever experience. Some days I can say youโre in a better place and free of pain, other days all I want to do is scream, cry and beg for you to come back no matter how selfish that may be.
As much as I hate to admit it sometimes I find life near impossible to handle. Sometimes I need a lil extra help and support. There have been times where I have made very fatal mistakes when I was in a very dark place. I used to have a lot of shame in that. This year made me realise I shouldnโt. Personally, sympathy makes me feel uncomfortable. I just genuinely donโt want it or need it. Being open about struggle doesnโt mean you are looking for sympathy. Iโm open about it now because itโs something Iโve learned to manage and accept as something that has shaped me into the person I want to be and am today. Iโm not writing this because I have something to prove, I donโt have to prove anything to anyone on social media or in real life, Iโm writing it because I donโt have shame in my struggle anymore. I am nowhere near perfect and I am still learning but I am fucking proud I made it through this bastard of a year because there were many times it didnโt look like I would but I know my angel was right there giving me the strength to get through it.
So fuck you 2020 you were one cunt of a year, but thank you for some lessons Iโll never forget.
Hereโs to 2021โจ
Love you Shan very proud of you, xxxx