Shannon Katilius (granddaughter of a FOSL support group member) from Limerick writes about the love and loss of her mother Natalie Katilius.
𝟑:𝟓𝟎𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞🤍
One whole year full of many mistakes, many tears and many lessons learned. I can safely say the most painful but without a doubt most eye opening year I have and probably will ever experience. Some days I can say you’re in a better place and free of pain, other days all I want to do is scream, cry and beg for you to come back no matter how selfish that may be.
As much as I hate to admit it sometimes I find life near impossible to handle. Sometimes I need a lil extra help and support. There have been times where I have made very fatal mistakes when I was in a very dark place. I used to have a lot of shame in that. This year made me realise I shouldn’t. Personally, sympathy makes me feel uncomfortable. I just genuinely don’t want it or need it. Being open about struggle doesn’t mean you are looking for sympathy. I’m open about it now because it’s something I’ve learned to manage and accept as something that has shaped me into the person I want to be and am today. I’m not writing this because I have something to prove, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone on social media or in real life, I’m writing it because I don’t have shame in my struggle anymore. I am nowhere near perfect and I am still learning but I am fucking proud I made it through this bastard of a year because there were many times it didn’t look like I would but I know my angel was right there giving me the strength to get through it.
So fuck you 2020 you were one cunt of a year, but thank you for some lessons I’ll never forget.
Here’s to 2021✨